my ability to cook comes and goes. there are times that i could make food so good, so flipperin' delicious that it could quite possibly convert athiests to christianity, making them pray for their meal. other times, i could quite possibly destroy my house by doing simple things; making toast. boiling water. microwaving popcorn. scooping ice-cream. it's either an extream good or an extream awful. but i can usually feel when one or the other comes on, usually by how determined i am in other aspects, like cleaning and studying (yes this is summer, and i have no school. but i'm a big ole' geek, and i study random subjects for fun). this week, i felt the urge to completely redo my room, wash the dog, read my old stolen textbooks, and google everything there is to know about Lucy Lawless. so, i figured it was about time to don my red gingem jullia child apron and get in the kitchen. (p.s. the books aren't really stolen; they were obsolete and tossed out at the end of respective school years. i simply rescued them from the dumpsters.)
this week was my 19th birthday, by the way, so i made myself a three-course gourmet meal, all taken from an anonymously-published site.
first course: mesclun salad with stuffed rigatoni tubes
i love this stuff in resteraunts. it takes rigatoni, of course, as well as a plethora of steamed and saute` veggies, and loads of itallian spices, which i love, and french spices, which i can't pronounce, and a lot of patience, which i usually have, but not today. so i searched my pantry, and found a dehydrated insta-meal with the same essential ingreadients, added the spices and veggies that needed to be added, with only as much patience to get me throught the 4 minute cooking period. yes, i cheated, but it was delicious.
second course: twice-baked potatoes, just like mamma made
the title didn't lie. seriously EXACTLY like mama always made it. bake a potato in the microwave with a few slits in it. when it's done, slice out a bowl opening and scoop out the potato part into a bowl. add ranch dressing, and several of your favorite cheeses, a splash of milk, stir, drop back into the potato carcass, sprinkle more cheese on top, pop it back in the microwave. voila`! c'est magnifique! (that, and a few curses, is the extent of my french) flippin. delicious. oh. yes.
third course: dessert coffee
interesting, considering i don't really care for coffee. or so i thought. turns out, i don't care for coffe how my parents make it. not strong enough. and hot is not my bag. this stuff, the recipy called for sugar, vanilla extract, and a teaspoon of unflavored gellatin, all stired together, and either frozen as a slushy consistancy, or refridgerated. served with a big ole' squirt of whipped cream, which just makes everything better, in my mind. unless you're lactose intollerant. anyhoozle, by the time i finished the first two courses, it was deffinately too late at night for coffee. so i saved it and had it for breakfast this morning. now, i'm just the tiniest bit jittery. not used to the caffine, i guess. but, if i keep making it like this, i'll deffinately get used to it -- after all, i am going to college, soon, and a college student must be addicted to one of two liquid substances: alcohol or coffee. i choose the latter (actually, the recipe really did call for a shot of liquer to be added to the substance, but as i am yet two years underaged, i will forgo that bit).
for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ-R-WE!!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
expariment 3: THE QUIZ IS LAW!
sorry about the recent delay. i have been running way, way, WAY behind on this week's expariment, so i just decided to postpone it to next week. this week, however, i have decided to air out more dirty laundry: my addiction to online quizes. not because i actually care what people's opinions are of me, but because i love, love, love to answer questions. i like serveys, too, but none of them actually have any good questions.
so, anyway, i just took a bunch of quizzes today, and, for once, actually cared about the author's response -- and followed it. here's my top two:
first quiz: what should you make for dinner tonight?
answer: set up a do-it-yourself bar. so i put out bread and several types of meat and toppings for myself, and had one of the best sandwiches ever. thank you, sheknows.com!
second quiz: what nickname best suits you?
answer: smoochie cuddlekins (cute name), cloud razor t-shirt (superhero name), lord blood hammer (villian name), torn apart paper yoyo (monster name), hic-up-apple-nod (just weird name) ivana humphalot (porn star name) brijanay (ghetto name), zeepzopdoop (alien name), andrew (name if i were a boy). from now on, you may call me any or none of these.
for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ R WE!
so, anyway, i just took a bunch of quizzes today, and, for once, actually cared about the author's response -- and followed it. here's my top two:
first quiz: what should you make for dinner tonight?
answer: set up a do-it-yourself bar. so i put out bread and several types of meat and toppings for myself, and had one of the best sandwiches ever. thank you, sheknows.com!
second quiz: what nickname best suits you?
answer: smoochie cuddlekins (cute name), cloud razor t-shirt (superhero name), lord blood hammer (villian name), torn apart paper yoyo (monster name), hic-up-apple-nod (just weird name) ivana humphalot (porn star name) brijanay (ghetto name), zeepzopdoop (alien name), andrew (name if i were a boy). from now on, you may call me any or none of these.
for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ R WE!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
expariment 2: DE-PIMPLE-IZE ME, CAPTAIN!!
i pimple-ize easily. if i so much as think the word "humidity," or even look in the general direction of my mom's makeup cabinet, my face will screech and break out, merely from shear terror. for the last eight months, i have developed an addiction to Noxema(tm) brand oil removal pads, and therefore, have also developed an immunity. (like when an alcaholic is so used to whiskey that he can't get a proper buzz, anymore, and so has to drink more and more as time goes on. that's how it was with me and Noxema. luckily, i've kicked the habbit. sorta. now i've moved on to Noxema brand facial soap, which seems to work even better. but, that's enough of my product placement for now. Noxema should be giving me a cut of yearly expense after this gets poasted...)
so, when i found this website for "overnight pimple treatment" i thought, yeah! i could give that a try. when exparimenting, do so with the most abundant controlled environment possible.
again, most of them were un-doable for my lack of supplies. but, like the nails, i found two that i could compare and contrast.
one involved toothpaste. just plain old toothpaste. dab and slather it on each spot, let it dry, and sleep on it.
the other involved milk of magnesia, which is a certain type of laxative that one, or the other, or both, of my parents use, so we always have some in my house.
on the left side of my face, i found and slathered up the toothpaste pimples. mmm, mintey-face.
on the right side, i was a little anxious about putting a laxative on my face, for the mere thought of its intended function upon invention. but i put it on, and waited.
over night, both substances made my hair, and bed (black suede futon. oh, yeah.), a complete mess. but, after running into the bathroom to wash the lintey gunk off, i found the personal truth behind the "overnight" pimple treatment.
the LABRATZ final descision: neither worked!!! the milk of magnesia was most likely -- at least the pimples it touched were no longer burney-throbbie-pusey boulders, but merely pusey boulders without the burney-throbbie. unfortunately, the expariment was for the visual disappearance of pimples, not the disappearance of pain behind them. i think that, if i were to perpetuate the expariment over several days, i may have achived the desired effect, but then it wouldn't be an "overnight" treatment any longer.
the toothpaste, on the other hand, sucked worse than the mystical straw people from kirnok IV, in the malt system. not only did it not effect the existing pimples, other than making them itch and ache, it actually ADDED MORE!! now, i swear, it's like looking at Erik from the Phantom of the Opera (Broadway or 2004 movie version, where half his face was fine, the other half scarred beyond all human recognition, supposedly, and NOT the 1930's silent picture version with a sabre-toothed Lon Chaney and a Ditzy McDitz-Face Christine Daae). whoever thought up this idea, and posted it on the internet, should have their mouth neutered! yeah, that's right, i'm talking about cutting out your uvula! no gag reflex for you, jerk-face!
for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ-R-WE!!!
so, when i found this website for "overnight pimple treatment" i thought, yeah! i could give that a try. when exparimenting, do so with the most abundant controlled environment possible.
again, most of them were un-doable for my lack of supplies. but, like the nails, i found two that i could compare and contrast.
one involved toothpaste. just plain old toothpaste. dab and slather it on each spot, let it dry, and sleep on it.
the other involved milk of magnesia, which is a certain type of laxative that one, or the other, or both, of my parents use, so we always have some in my house.
on the left side of my face, i found and slathered up the toothpaste pimples. mmm, mintey-face.
on the right side, i was a little anxious about putting a laxative on my face, for the mere thought of its intended function upon invention. but i put it on, and waited.
over night, both substances made my hair, and bed (black suede futon. oh, yeah.), a complete mess. but, after running into the bathroom to wash the lintey gunk off, i found the personal truth behind the "overnight" pimple treatment.
the LABRATZ final descision: neither worked!!! the milk of magnesia was most likely -- at least the pimples it touched were no longer burney-throbbie-pusey boulders, but merely pusey boulders without the burney-throbbie. unfortunately, the expariment was for the visual disappearance of pimples, not the disappearance of pain behind them. i think that, if i were to perpetuate the expariment over several days, i may have achived the desired effect, but then it wouldn't be an "overnight" treatment any longer.
the toothpaste, on the other hand, sucked worse than the mystical straw people from kirnok IV, in the malt system. not only did it not effect the existing pimples, other than making them itch and ache, it actually ADDED MORE!! now, i swear, it's like looking at Erik from the Phantom of the Opera (Broadway or 2004 movie version, where half his face was fine, the other half scarred beyond all human recognition, supposedly, and NOT the 1930's silent picture version with a sabre-toothed Lon Chaney and a Ditzy McDitz-Face Christine Daae). whoever thought up this idea, and posted it on the internet, should have their mouth neutered! yeah, that's right, i'm talking about cutting out your uvula! no gag reflex for you, jerk-face!
for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ-R-WE!!!
Friday, June 25, 2010
expariment 1: SHINEY-SHINEY-FINGERNAILS!!!
i am not exactly the girly sort -- sure, i take care of myself so i make a good impression to anyone who wishes to give me money, and, therefore, do not stink; and i know how to compose an outfit, but that's just being a good artist -- but i do not spend my spare time reading glamour magazines, or watching celebrity shows, or, you guessed it, playing with my nails.
they were a fairly blank slate to start with. not already super-mega shiney, nor completely screwed up. i play with old wood and metal in my spare time, forgotten things (i'm a junk-artist), and i also tinker around under the hood of my car and my rider mower. these things can be very nail-damaging, but my mother is a beautician/manicurist, who helps me to at least keep them from peeling and chipping. so they're about as balanced and average as they come.
i found this one web site that gave all these home-remidy tips on how to get shiney, healthy nails. most of them i didn't have the supplies to do it. but i settled on two to compare.
one deals with milk; soak for 7 to 10 minutes, don't wash for another 10 minutes.
the other with raisins; soak the raisins untill they're plump, rip them open and rub one raisin each on my fingernails and don't wash off at all.
i did one method per hand, but it doesn't really matter which was which, because this was the result:
the beauty shop where mama works has two manicurists, both trained professionals, and i asked both of their opinions. there was a draw. one thought one hand was shinier, the other thought the reverse.
the LABRATZ final descision: both lactose and shrivelled fruits were equal contenders. yeah, it's an anticlimactic result, but that's what we got. don't write me off just yet; this is only my first entery here, give me a chance.
for i am we, and we are labrats, and LABRATS-R-WE!
Friday, June 18, 2010
introduction
hello, worthy reader(s), and welcome to LABRATZ-R-WE!!!
i understand the teaser on my other blog, the Random Turtle, this new project was explained very little (well, yeah, that's why it's called a "teaser" and not an "in-depth discussion"), but here, in this short-ish introduction, we will have an in-depth discussion on what, exactly, i intend to do here.
this is a review blog of the work-ability and overall personal effectiveness of certain self-help web sites. now, i have all eight subjects picked out ahead of time, i know how long each of them takes, and will therefore be writing about them in accordance to their "end" dates. this also means, for the next few weeks, i will be a very busy busy bee...
a good review reporter alwas starts reviewing things (books, movies, plays, scientific expariments) with a neutral mind. i'm affraid that is not the case here. these are active, physical expariments, and if i wish to get through them all, i must look upon them as though i already know it will work. i have the utmost confidence in their work-ability and effectiveness, and can only be proved right or wrong.
a schedual has been made, but i will not post it. it is always much more fun for the reader to be kept in suspense. all i will tell you: eight projects, with the attempt to get them done in a cascade of a mere week between each other.
i shall endure all expariments alone and without outside assistance or confirmation. i may post pictures. i may not. none of them will be of my face, for i intend to carry my own sillhouette for as long as humanly possible in cyberspace.
for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ-R-WE!!!
i understand the teaser on my other blog, the Random Turtle, this new project was explained very little (well, yeah, that's why it's called a "teaser" and not an "in-depth discussion"), but here, in this short-ish introduction, we will have an in-depth discussion on what, exactly, i intend to do here.
this is a review blog of the work-ability and overall personal effectiveness of certain self-help web sites. now, i have all eight subjects picked out ahead of time, i know how long each of them takes, and will therefore be writing about them in accordance to their "end" dates. this also means, for the next few weeks, i will be a very busy busy bee...
a good review reporter alwas starts reviewing things (books, movies, plays, scientific expariments) with a neutral mind. i'm affraid that is not the case here. these are active, physical expariments, and if i wish to get through them all, i must look upon them as though i already know it will work. i have the utmost confidence in their work-ability and effectiveness, and can only be proved right or wrong.
a schedual has been made, but i will not post it. it is always much more fun for the reader to be kept in suspense. all i will tell you: eight projects, with the attempt to get them done in a cascade of a mere week between each other.
i shall endure all expariments alone and without outside assistance or confirmation. i may post pictures. i may not. none of them will be of my face, for i intend to carry my own sillhouette for as long as humanly possible in cyberspace.
for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ-R-WE!!!
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