expariment 2: DE-PIMPLE-IZE ME, CAPTAIN!!

i pimple-ize easily. if i so much as think the word "humidity," or even look in the general direction of my mom's makeup cabinet, my face will screech and break out, merely from shear terror. for the last eight months, i have developed an addiction to Noxema(tm) brand oil removal pads, and therefore, have also developed an immunity. (like when an alcaholic is so used to whiskey that he can't get a proper buzz, anymore, and so has to drink more and more as time goes on. that's how it was with me and Noxema. luckily, i've kicked the habbit. sorta. now i've moved on to Noxema brand facial soap, which seems to work even better. but, that's enough of my product placement for now. Noxema should be giving me a cut of yearly expense after this gets poasted...)

so, when i found this website for "overnight pimple treatment" i thought, yeah! i could give that a try. when exparimenting, do so with the most abundant controlled environment possible.

again, most of them were un-doable for my lack of supplies. but, like the nails, i found two that i could compare and contrast.

one involved toothpaste. just plain old toothpaste. dab and slather it on each spot, let it dry, and sleep on it.

the other involved milk of magnesia, which is a certain type of laxative that one, or the other, or both, of my parents use, so we always have some in my house.

on the left side of my face, i found and slathered up the toothpaste pimples. mmm, mintey-face.

on the right side, i was a little anxious about putting a laxative on my face, for the mere thought of its intended function upon invention. but i put it on, and waited.

over night, both substances made my hair, and bed (black suede futon. oh, yeah.), a complete mess. but, after running into the bathroom to wash the lintey gunk off, i found the personal truth behind the "overnight" pimple treatment.

the LABRATZ final descision: neither worked!!! the milk of magnesia was most likely -- at least the pimples it touched were no longer burney-throbbie-pusey boulders, but merely pusey boulders without the burney-throbbie. unfortunately, the expariment was for the visual disappearance of pimples, not the disappearance of pain behind them. i think that, if i were to perpetuate the expariment over several days, i may have achived the desired effect, but then it wouldn't be an "overnight" treatment any longer.

the toothpaste, on the other hand, sucked worse than the mystical straw people from kirnok IV, in the malt system. not only did it not effect the existing pimples, other than making them itch and ache, it actually ADDED MORE!! now, i swear, it's like looking at Erik from the Phantom of the Opera (Broadway or 2004 movie version, where half his face was fine, the other half scarred beyond all human recognition, supposedly, and NOT the 1930's silent picture version with a sabre-toothed Lon Chaney and a Ditzy McDitz-Face Christine Daae). whoever thought up this idea, and posted it on the internet, should have their mouth neutered! yeah, that's right, i'm talking about cutting out your uvula! no gag reflex for you, jerk-face!

for i am we and we are labrats and LABRATZ-R-WE!!!